New Baptist Kidd on the Blog

No doubt it gets stronger with increasing age, but I have long felt that the concept of memory is enormously important within the whole construct of human life, and a crucial category within any credible process of theological reflection. Long ago now, this whole theme of memory opened up for me in the writings of those who take the label 'process theologians' - especially Norman Pittenger in his 'After Death: Life in God', but also almost anywhere that the formative ideas of A N Whitehead are explored and developed.

It has also been for me a very special attraction in the poetry of Craig Raine, beginning with one of his early collections entitled 'The Onion, Memory' (1978). The opening line of the poem with that title reads: 'Divorced, but friends again at last, we walk old ground together in bright blue uncomplicated weather' - yes, that is what I know in part and still continue to seek.

If I could have reserved a title for a book I can imagine writing it would be 'A la Recherche du Temps Perdu' (In Search of Lost Time) - but Marcel Proust got there long ago, and who am I to compete. I have long been aware that the Proust was a book I wanted to read - I still vividly remember the enthusiasm of a gay friend, explaining how he had read it many times over. Being a slow reader, I looked on in amazement - it extends to six volumes!

But as part of the sabbatical I have started Volume 1, 'The Way by Swann's' in the Penguin translation - and I do not think I am about to be disappointed. In a flowing stream of prose the author begins to explore in minute detail seminal moments from early childhood, which still remain as powerful as ever to shape and transform the present. I think I know that experience. My guess is I shall be commenting on this book in more detail through the coming weeks as I make my way further in the novel(s).

My own first attempt to say something about memory took shape quite a few years ago (1996). I would not say it quite like this if I were writing today, but it was fun digging it out to look again. I titled it 'The Ulitmate Amnesia' and it turned out like this:

THE ULTIMATE AMNESIA

It is no small things for us
to remember;
not merely
the reget of
promise broken,
opportunity missed,
the pain of
grief revisited -
real though these are.

Much more,
each time a memory is re-collected
it is changed
forever, and in measure lost;
fused with fresh connections,
new interpretations,
which, when re-stored,
fade into that
eternal blur
which will become our final Now.

And God is the chief exemplification!
_____

No, that is not what I want to say today, either in style or content. I think I would find a more hopeful note than 'eternal blur', but it still says much that is important to me. (I am also a bit embarrassed by the rather unsubtle influence of Whitehead on the last line!) Most recently I have found myself reading my own fresh experience through lenses formed over more than half a century, and coming to identify just what the lenses are with much greater clarity than when first I looked through them. And it is very moving, so that I can gladly say, again with Craig Raine, 'It is the onion, memory, that makes me cry.'

At this early stage of learning to blog, I am still laying trails which I shall no doubt be re-visiting many time in days to come.